Content is being moved to: http://www.BlackShaman.net

Apologies for any inconvenience.

Thank you for your understanding.

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

This blog is closing & will be removed. Content is being moved.

Friendly individuals emotionally lift up people and if there is conflict, it generally can easily be worked through. When dealing with the difficult ones, however, it is important to be able to distinguish between rights and responsibilities. Sometimes we feel obliged to adapt to them but we shouldn’t forgo our rights as human beings either.

There are also those people whom we have to deal with out of responsibility. One of the best things that we can do here is to not reciprocate the difficulties that person is causing us, even though the temptation to can be very strong. Treating them with respect is important and we also must learn to listen to them as they air out their points of view. Doing this will help us better understand them. Plus, if we get to know them, we’ll be able to strategize more about what to do and how to respond.

The thing is, difficult people are usually those who have issues in their life. Disassociate the problem from the person and learn to see things objectively. After all, if this person is not overstepping the boundaries, they might also eventually see that we too deserve respect. Anyone with enough sense should know this.

We also have to stop seeing ourselves as victims of a situation.  Blaming others for making us feel miserable can only further damage us. It gives others a chance to access our emotions. Take responsibility for how we feel, and work towards a solution before they attain a mental victory over us. Do you really want to be someone else’s emotional puppet?

We just can’t change other people. We can, however, influence ourselves to stop becoming affected. Nobody is worth this much energy and we don’t need to sweat over those who don’t deserve our respect. Deal with them like we should with work, and that is never take too much of it home with us.

So, in dealing with people who try to bring us down, we have to accept that we cannot change others, but can only change ourselves. This may mean that we change our perception and the way we deal with the situations. It’s always better to look into ourselves first and see if it’s us that need to make changes. We, as individuals, also have our own pet peeves and issues.

If that other person really needs to change and is willing to make the adjustment, then we need to use constructive influence. There are tactful ways to send a message through without making someone feel worse. There are those who will influence our life very adversely. But we can be a positive influence in someone else’s life by letting go of what we cannot control and doing our best to be helpful instead. Mahatma Gandhi once said that we must be the change we want to see in the world. Let us serve as inspiration to many and be the positive influence. When we do this, we will slowly start to see ourselves surrounded by only those we like and respect.

Note: In some cases of severe oppression, nastiness and mental control, it is important to remove yourself from the influence of the guilty parties alltogether. This is partly because such people can have very deep hooks in your psyche and being in their presence can make positive change very difficult for you. A good metaphor for this is that such severely oppressive people can be like an occupying power in a geographic area. It can be very hard to break free. When you have recovered and healed, then is the time that you can decide if you still want to interact with such putrid people because you will be strong. But why would you?

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

Dealing with people who bring us down.

Then, we find ourselves waking up one day not knowing where we’re exactly headed in life. Our relationships with others require love and respect. We know that (though often don’t practice it). Why can’t we give the same to ourselves? We need to know what we’re worth and what we deserve so that we are more motivated to do what we’ve always wanted.

To move up in life, to keep up steady growth, we need to follow some key rules:

• We have to set goals that are important to us. By setting a goal, we have something to look forward to, a driving force that will fuel or energize us. We need something to sustain our hunger or else we will find everything we do is futile.

• We need to trust in our own abilities. The idea that the grass is always greener in the other side of the fence is a dead end. We shouldn’t compare what we have to what others have. All people are different; each of us is unique. Don’t bother about those people who constantly criticize us. A positive mind is the ticket to a successful journey.

• Learn the power of meditation. Keeping our souls healthy can be beneficial to both our minds and bodies. By learning to channel our focus on something, we will be able to see things in a clearer light. A cool head is much better at solving problems than a hot one.

• Send those negative thoughts out the door. Negativity has never gotten anyone further. In fact, these thoughts can be our life’s biggest roadblock. Negative thoughts attract negative outcomes. It’s a vicious cycle that we all need to get out of. We all have the ability to get of this rut, raise ourselves up, and begin our journey.

• Love ourselves. No one loves a person who doesn’t love himself. We need to learn how to be thankful for what we have and who we are. By knowing what we can do and believing in our abilities, we will have more strength to drive forward.

Acknowledging what is good in each of us is not being egotistical. We don’t have to brag about it. The glow in our faces will be proof enough of how happy we are with our response to the cards that life has dealt us. For us to succeed and move up, we have to life free of regrets. Being proud of who we are will prove to be good for our psyche. As long as we live in harmony with right thinking, we are more likely to fulfill our destiny.

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

Moving Forward – Moving Up

Most of us don’t know our direction in life. We live with so many dreams inside us but somehow we keep finding excuses to delay the pursuit of our goals. We come up with so many excuses: bills to pay, family to take care of, work to finish, etc. Too many excuses and too many delaying tactics. In fact we can be very creative and inventive with our excuses. In the end, when we see that we haven’t accomplished much, we have no one to blame but us. We don’t want to live life this way. But then, who does?

We get off track time and again, as most people do. We get too caught up in life’s little hindrances that we forget to live in the moment, to enjoy the now! The reason for all the confusion may be because our dreams are not as well-defined as they should be. The problem here, therefore, is focus. We must have clarity of thought to know how we can accomplish what we want. We need a step-by-step plan that spells out what we have to do to get to the end. When we experience setbacks, we have to know how to deal with each of them. After all, nothing in life is perfect. There are many things which are way beyond our control, and if we live our life going a step forward and then two steps back, we are really going further away from our dreams. The farther we go, the more impossible it will seem to get what we want.

It’s also important to acknowledge the situation we’re in. We all live in different environments and have different methods of coping with reality. The important thing is to be in touch with the things that happen around us. Knowing how our surroundings affect us will give us clues on what to do with the inevitable limitations we experience. Then we can make a commitment to change the situation we are in and to track our growth on a regular basis.

We can sometimes fall flat on our faces and also commit social faux pas along the way. If this happens, just remember it’s not the end of the world. We get up, keep moving, and come up with an even better plan. We don’t need to be ’superheroes’. What we need is an strong spirit to continue on despite mistakes. We have to be our own biggest supporter, the person who cheers the loudest during game time. Otherwise, who will believe in a person who doubts themself? Let us start chasing our dreams and stop running away from harsh reality.

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

Your life direction

We all have a purpose in life. Whether it is to be a good parent or a successful business owner, our goals help us live day by day with something to work towards. To say that you’ve given up all hope means to give up on life entirely. Yes, you may have problems, but then again, who doesn’t? Everyone is going through something, and no one is exempt or immune from this. Dealt with in the right way, trials and problems will make you stronger. Yes, you might think that it’s easy for me to say this and that what you’re going through is simply unbearable. But you must accept the truism that problems are a fact of life. As some might say, nothing is certain but death and taxes. Unexpected situations come along and these things could render you shocked and disheartened. After you fall, don’t you sometimes think that there’s no way to go but up? At the lowest point in your lives, you need to be resilient and know that as long as you breathe, there are things that you still can change and take action on.

The journey to finding hope is much like a road map. You have to go through hills and valleys, encounter peaks and dips along the way. The road only serves as a lesson learned and a guide for you to know how to cope with nature’s harsh realities. Success can only be reached via one road, and that is of hope.

Anticipating the good in life commences as a belief and an understanding that something unseen already exists. Yes, you might be in a predicament at this very moment, but what should set you apart is the thirst to have a life filled with happy memories and the will to make the best of what has been handed to you. It is the deep faith you need to have in your ability to turn things around and have it work your way that counts. When you have hope by your side, I promise you this: Life will seem easier because you will have something that provides you with the thirst to search for the silver lining behind the dark cloud. When you know that there is something out there for you, you’ll be more grateful and appreciative for what you can do and find it easier to realize that you can always overcome what you think you can’t handle.

Just imagine your life without hope. You might as well live in the dark. Hope provides you with light and it serves as your anchor as you weather through the storms. The facts are, things change every day, people change, situations change. Now, it’s up to you to make the best out of the unstable world out there to make sure that you cope with the transitions well. Work it your advantage and know that as long as things can change, so can you.

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

Living with Hope

100 Clever Ways to Change Your Habits and Improve Your Life

Published by Masters of Healthcare — Online Health and Medicine Degrees, the article is very useful. I like it a lot.

The article comes in handy for busy people, people in a hurry, people who like stuff in one place, people who like to work though a checklist – addressing one issue at a time, and so on.

Besides providing advice, each item has a link to additional content elsewhere on the web. I haven’t checked all of these, however the ones I clicked on led to some interesting, helpful material.

If a career in health care interests you, or if you are already working in the field and want to develop your skills further, check out the information on the Master of Healthcare — Online Health and Medicine Degrees, home page. Over the years I have done a lot of online study and this is a trend which is becoming increasingly popular.

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

100 Clever Ways to Change Your Habits and Improve Your Life

I am sure many of you have heard about those people who fell on hard times of one kind or another and discovered how few real friends they had.

What not so many people are aware of is that some apparent friends will not only abandon you once your trade your posh car for last year’s model, they will damage your life and psyche in other ways; some of which are very subtle and can persist for years, long before you experience a major crisis and they abandon you for good.

So, how do you tell who you can trust with your friendship?

If you are attuned to Spirit then you may be more aware of the true nature of others, especially if you have a well developed form of what is known as “Owl Medicine‘. (Owl Totem).

“For those of us who are not so aware, or even unaware, then here is an interesting quote which contains some key aspects of wisdom about the friendship situation:

“False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports.” — Sir Richard Burton 1821-1890, Explorer

Think about the friendships you have and ask yourself:

• Do I feel drained around this person?
• Do an above average amount of things go wrong around this person?
• Does the person encourage me, listen to me, energize me?
• Is the person positive?
• Is the person dependent on me?
• Is the person a constant ‘taker’?

There are of course other indicators that the friendship is unhealthy, the above are just some examples to get you thinking.

While you are at it, perhaps have a think about yourself as a friend. What kind of a friend are you to others? How do you rate against the above list?

Another ‘twist’ to this is that you can substitute family for the word friend. Some family members are very toxic and can be much worse than the worst friend.

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

Why you need to think carefully about your friendships

Something which will help make you a winner is your ability to channel significant energy to fulfilling your goals. There are things that you simply cannot control. The outside factors that affect your decisions change, and while you try not to wilt away; you must also face up to your challenges and responsibilities. Blaming others for the repercussions of the decisions that you made is the loser’s way out. Loser. What a horrible term to use, which is even worse when someone directs this insult at you. The most important factor to consider is how you’ll react to these changes. In life, there are just some things that are out of our hands. You must have a Plan B for every important decision that you make, or else, a slight change can cause your ‘house of cards’ to collapse.

When you do fall down, what will set you apart from all the ordinary people is your ability to get up. The harder you fall, the more you need to make an effort. Winners just don’t quit. Even with their sore backsides, they simply get up and take these battle scars along with them as reminders of their courage and tenacity. Success only comes with some sacrifice on your part. Whoever said that becoming successful is easy must have been dreaming because if it were, then we all would have been wildly successful by now. Winners tend to put in more hours than anybody else. If blood, sweat, and tears have to be offered, then you should get on with it. And if you feel that there are just too many forces working against you, make sure that you don’t let these things break your heart. A broken heart is a shortcut to failure.

Another secret to success is to believe in your talent and abilities no matter what everybody else says. No one knows you better, and no one understands you more. It’s all in you, the knowledge and the capacity to surpass the things that hinder you from becoming who you can be. You can’t please everybody all of the time, and some of these people may discourage you to move forward. You need to learn how to channel these voices out and focus on making those who give you support happier. Bear in mind that there are people who will try to sabotage your efforts by what they say. Some of these people will be doing it subconsciously, perhaps speaking out of their own fears, doubts and insecurities. others will have conscious, malicious intent.

When you keep these three secrets to success in mind, you will become a more confident person. You need to know that you can do it. It may not be in the way that you wanted, but the point here is that you can. What sets winners apart from the rest is their ability to dream big and to know that their dreams can happen.

PS: Inner ‘reprogramming’ or ‘healing’ will also help your confidence, particularly if you have severe issues with low confidence.

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

The Power of Confidence

But there is a Shambhala! In fact, it’s in every person at this very moment. Getting there, however, is another story altogether. A place of tranquility and peace is inside every person. The paradise mentioned above is a state of mind. If you can learn to better direct your thoughts, you can achieve an energetic state in virtually any situation or circumstances. I know because I was once a very angry and emotionally distorted person.

An energetic person is one who is always on the go. Despite any difficulties the person is facing, he or she is able to get back up and move on. As you go through a rainbow of experiences, some darker than others, you’ll find yourself stumbling along the way. But stumbling isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, this could be your chance to know more about life and understand the many ways things work. When I stumble in some area I always ask myself what I can learn from it and how I can turn the situation into a positive.

Yoga aficionados also believe in their form of exercise. Many swear by it and say that they are better able to take a step back from the issue and see the bigger picture. Unlike the common belief that exercise tires a person, facts show that it is, in fact, quite the opposite. It can be a way for you to release all your frustrations and have an outlet where you can channel all your anger. There’s a basic explanation behind the power of exercise. After a workout there will be an increase in your serotonin and endorphin levels. These are known as the ‘happy hormones’ in layman’s term. Aerobic activities balance your emotions, calm your nerves, and lower your blood pressure. Try it and feel your glow after every thorough workout.

Another strategy is to create, as part of your support system, a set of people who will love you and see you through every trial. They will help you stay hopeful and will be your pillar of strength when you are about to collapse. No structure can survive without the proper foundation. Clearly one needs the ability to function well if others are not around to provide support, however if they are available then make the best of it.

If your energy level reaches the breaking point and you feel just plain tired, it might be time to make some simple changes. No matter what your age, these easy but powerful tips for increasing your energy can really help. You just have to remember that you can always support yourself and adjust your life according to the demands on you. Coping with problems is a learned skill, but once you master this art, you’ll soon find that you are more than ready to meet challenges head on. Happiness is a state of being, and achieving it relies in the power of your mind. Let your brain be the battery of your life’s energy. Think smart!

PS: no one, and no situation ever makes you angry. YOU make yourself angry by YOUR thoughts. For more information on this aspect check out a blog article I wrote last year:  Nobody made you angry

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

How to Feel Energetic in Any Situation

Sometimes giving up simply seems to be the best solution. Unfortunately, taking the easy way out is often the worst thing you can do. Yes, you have to learn how to let go, but a lot of things just can’t be solved that way. What do you do when the time comes that you have to deal with everything, face up to your decisions, and take all the consequences? Running away is certainly not an option. This is the coward’s way out. Just remember, being scared is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s what you do when you’re faced with fear that counts. When you successfully deal with bad situations, take the time to treat yourself with a reward. It helps inspire you to do better every time a problem or stressor comes into your life.

One thing many people resort to when they need to unwind is to have a “spa day.” The term intrinsically assumes the idea of health, rest and relaxation. Thus, many believe this to be a wisely spent day. A day of relaxation trumps anything that comes next. This is the ultimate way to spoil yourself, a way to reward yourself for all your hard work. Unfortunately, spending the day at a spa can be costly. It can affirm the idea that all good things come at a price. The good news is, this doesn’t have to be the case. As a matter of fact, there are many ways to celebrate your triumphs, many of which require little or no money.

When things become too rough to handle, a walk in the park does wonders. The nice fresh air and the smell of flowers is one of nature’s versions of an energy drink. If the park isn’t your thing, maybe you can call friends and ask them out to a movie. If that still doesn’t cut it, a day spent at the beach should do the trick. The idea is to do the things you love. Rewards aren’t there to tell you to get your wallet out and spend. The idea behind it is to let you feel that you are also worth something and that you deserve the goodness in life because you’ve been a responsible person. Whatever it is that you like, you have to set aside some quality time for it so you are able to see things clearly and in perspective after you’re refreshed.

A good method to use is to have a list of things you must accomplish in say, 10 years. Include things that are not necessarily related to work. Make it as holistic as possible, bearing in mind that you also need to spend time with those who are close to you on a more personal level. After all, pampering is not a benefit that only some of us should enjoy, it’s everybody’s birthright!

Post from: Personal Development Magic...

Learn How to Love Yourself – An Antidote for Stress